My sanctuary-A place of refuge and safty

These past few years were probably the most difficult years of my life. After a miscarriage, a severe car accident, struggling with depression, and many arguments with my husband, my husband and I had finally had enough. I knew that something needed to change but when my husband at the time said that our marriage was over I felt like my world was ending. I could not breath. I could not believe that my whole life was about to change. I moved to my sisters house but felt there was no room for me. I tried living at my soon to be ex-husband's apartment when he was not home but I felt out of place. I belonged nowhere. I was an outcast. With all this going on, I knew that I wanted to do something for me. I talked to my sister and really good friend. We decided to audition for a play together. We knew of several fun plays. We decided to try out for "Spamalot" in Spanish fork and "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" in Lehi and then decide which one to do. My older sister and her husband decided to join us as well. We were really excited to try out for "Spamalot." We practiced our songs together. We all auditioned. When the callback list came out for "Spamalot" I noticed that everyone I auditioned with made it to callbacks except for me. I curled up in a ball and sobbed because no one wanted me. I was so sad, not because I did not get in, but because I felt like I was an outcast once again. Then my family and my friend did something so sweet. They decided that they did not want to go to callbacks for "Spamalot" without me and they put all their efforts into trying out for "The Hunchback of Notre Dame." Being at auditions was so intimidating. I did not think I could handle another rejection. There was so much talent. A few days later I was not on the callback list but there was still a chance I was in the ensemble. I was so happy when my name was on the cast list. The first cast meeting was magical. The directors, Colleen and Michael Carrasco asked us to introduce ourselves and tell everyone what the play meant to us. I did not even know where to begin. The play meant everything to me. The play meant I belonged somewhere. It was something that could help me rediscover who I was. As all the strangers introduced themselves I could tell that we would be close. The first music rehearsal blew my mind. We had to memorize whole songs in Latin and the notes were so high it pushed my vocal range to the limit. The talent of the cast was outstanding. Friendships grew and I felt like I was safe. I was impressed with how nice our leads were. They did not look down on us. I began to find peace in my life even though my divorce was a mess. When my divorce was finalized, I was ok because I had my friends to surround me and my music to focus on. Some days I struggled to smile and be social at play practice. Somedays I felt dead inside, but I put my smile on on found a way to enjoy being with my cast members. I had a hard time balancing work, theater, and being a mother so I was very grateful when Michael said that my son could be in the play with me. In the finali we sing "The world is cruel, the world is ugly, but there are times and there are people when the world is not." This play taught me that even though my life seemed so dark at times, it is the people around me and the relationships I build that make life worth living. While the obvious message of  "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" is to be nice to everyone no matter what their beliefs, looks, or backgrounds are, the message I personally got from the play is that, life does not always have to be beautiful. It is ok for me to have terrible  days as long as I remember that a better day is around the corner. I am reminded every night that someday, things will get better and I will be happy again. I just need to focus on the positive things in my life. "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" gave me a safe place for me to belong. It gave me family and it gave me hope. "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" is My sanctuary.